She wore her blue Kurtha with beautiful golden embroidered flowers on it . She admired the designs,it looked graceful and elegant to her. She paired it up with her blue shaded pair of jeans which matched her blue Kurtha. She then glanced at her shoe collection thinking whether she should go for the usual joothi or the very rarely used but deeply desired blue ankle length western shoes.
She tied her hair into a small pony and wore her glasses to take a look of here attire in the mirror. She felt very good thinking she has made herself presentable and stylish. However just like how the society has always forced us to think about what the others think of us ,she fell into the well of doubts about her decision on the pair of jeans she chose instead of the usual Lycra pants and the pair of shoes instead of the usual joothis. She thought to herself-
What are my sisters going to tell about me when I go out this way? Will my nieces like this? Oh forget about my husband and son they always make silly jokes on me.
She walked towards the hallway where her mirrors of what the society actually sees were standing and she asked me-
Hey how does this look on me?
As I took a very small pause to take a look at her before I answer she lost her confidence and told me that she can never wear this cause her son and husband pass comments on her style sense and stop her from wearing such shoes or pants. My heart just sinked when I heard that from her mouth and the look on her face made me weak on my knees. I immediately replied to her “ it looks great on you🙂”
I tried to recollect my memories to when I first saw my Aunt..
My Hero
It was few months before my little sister was born that my Mom had left me with my Dad for taking care of me and my schooling in Bangalore and she was staying with her mother in Chennai,who took care of my Mom,while my aunt made me write letters to my Mom.
I was a very innocent child , a victim of constant intense bullying at school, which is common these days for kids to go through but the experience as a child personally is well pretty traumatising that the child cannot easily forget.
However I used to still manage to face the sun and head to school bearing all the heat I had to face from the beatings I got from the fellow students and burning sense of embarrassment.
One day I had enough of it ,I couldn't bear it anymore so before I would melt from the embarrassing and painful heat my face had to go through, I went to my Aunt.
She was a very attractive lady, she had beautiful bouncy Boney M kind of curls and Always seemed tall to my eyes.
She was the most stylish lady I had ever seen other than the ones on the television. However when I told her my problem, she told me she will take care of it and that night I had a good night sleep.
The next morning when my school auto rickshaw arrived at my home,she held my hand and led me to the rickshaw as I saw those bully eyes staring at me as I sat in the rickshaw.
I must admit I remember very well that I was proud she was representing me as she looked so gorgeous and her voice just like a telephone operator which is something to be proud of in the 80’s and last but not the least her English Vocabulary is simply extraordinary which she thinks is not such a big achievement.
She then started speaking to the bully in my rickshaw. At first she was stern and in the end she was kind trying to make another kid understand how to behave well and what is the actual meaning of respect towards your fellow kids. All I could see is the bully's fearful eyes. Well it did work! even if it was just for week ,her words did make the bully less annoying and I was not troubled much.
So there she was my aunt ,my Hero who protected me and stood by my side when I was in trouble.
A Romantic
It was when she got married and she came from her mother in laws house that I saw a new side of her.
Tring tring the telephone used to ring almost every evening and she used to go elegantly to the phone and used to whisper something into the phone while I used to sit and watch her whispering ,I used to wonder why she would do that.
However one evening when she was as usual whispering into the phone ,I ran upto her and asked her loudly – “Why you whispering ? Why you talking in English instead of our mother tongue Telugu ?” . She just stared at me and told me to go away while she continued to giggle and talk on the phone.
Usually we expect children not to detect the flirty or the romantic tone we use when we talk to our partner but guess we are wrong cause most of them do detect it very well. Well, I did.
I also noticed that she was the happiest when she spoke to that person on the phone, which I however later on came to learn is her Husband.
A Romantic is the right word to describe her.I do not know whether she got her romance. Well I hope she got it or gets it in future atleast.
The Fighter
My aunt , the Boney M look a like girl though looks all joyous and fun, had to indeed face a lot of challenges from when she was a child. The burden of losing a parent ,the burden of taking care of her little brother , the burden of losing her other parent to another family , while being taken care by her Uncle and his five children, the happiness of being married and moving to a new city and also meeting with a deadly illness which made her come back to my house and stay with us, which was when I saw a true fighter in front of me.
She slept on the bed,she was wearing a head scarf , she looked very weak and very ill. It made me very sad to see my hero in such a state.
At one point of time , her head scarf fell from her head and I couldn't believe my eyes. My Boney M look a like aunt had disappeared , she wasn't there .. Oh where is she ? Who is this ? I was shocked and was taken aback. I couldn't understand her illness , what causes it , I couldn't even pronounce it well. All I heard is she survived from it and she was living a new life. I was extremely sad thinking what on earth did this beautiful lady do that God punished her this way. I did not want to see her , I did not want to see her pain cause I did not have the courage to see my hero so weak.
However ! My Aunt ! My Hero didn't stop even then , she tried every day , she fought every minute and she was recovering . I could see her smile again , laugh again , it made me happy.
She was a Fighter. She fought with her fate and herself and there she was smiling again.
The Loud
“Catch him ! catch him!” she screamed as her son , the most naughtiest child I have ever seen , ran away from her, jumped on the bed , snatched my school notebook from my hand and ran to the balcony and threw it out.
She yells again “oh god!!! What have you done ???”
This was how a sweet and sexy voiced lady became a noisy loud mother.She ain't loud for No reason!!!
After recollecting all my memories for a few minutes,I went to my room and thought to myself –
What kind of a society am I living in,
where a woman once a style diva becomes a woman who doubts her own style sense,
where a woman once a hero becomes a woman who fears to voice out her opnions,
where a woman once a Romantic becomes a woman who thinks romance is just a part of a Mills n Boons novel or just in others lives and she thinks she doesn't deserve it as it seems so unreal.
When a lady dresses up really well, it is the society which tells her to tone down,imposes rules on what to wear and what not.
She hence loses her own style sense ,following what the society wants her to wear and by the time she realises what she's lost , the society starts judging her by the style choices she makes.
They laugh at her and crack silly jokes.
Darn this Society and Darn its ways of toning us down.
Guess what! We ain't the ones to tone down cause now it's your turn to tone down your thoughts,your opinions and your judgements.
My Aunt will always be -
A Charming Hero
A Beautiful Fighter
A Rightfully Romantic
A Forcefully Loud
And last but not the least
My Only Childhood Style Diva!!!!
- Rashmi Raj
Happy Reading
